Confessions of a Perfectionist

Confessions of a Perfectionist

I'm too hard on myself. I know I am. I always have been.

But somewhere along the way there was a shift. And the pendulum swung too far in the other direction.

I can't pinpoint an exact moment (although there probably was). But I think it was probably more of a wearing down. Too many years of hearing things like:

• "You're too hard on yourself."
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• "Grant yourself some grace."
• 
  
• "Nobody's perfect."
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• "You're only human."
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• "Perfectly imperfect."
• 
  
• And the like.

And at some point I started believing it. And then I took it to heart. Complacency had taken hold.

And now it sometimes seems like I have an excuse for everything.

• Sleep.
• 
  
• Exercise.
• 
  
• Eating healthy. 
• 
  
• Making an effort. 
• 
  
• Succeeding.

And a few weeks ago, I finally said:

"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!"

I get to choose. I'm setting the schedule and the pace.

And so, I went back to basics to find my groove. And I'm working on it. I'm getting there.

• I'm listening to my intuition and hearing my guides. 
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• I'm trying harder (done with excuses) but being kinder with myself when I fall short. 
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• I'm thinking long term, big picture, instead of living only in the moment. 
• 
  
• And I'm happier, less anxious, and more productive. 

Thanks for being here.

Beth
www.secondnaturehealthcoaching.com 

Biology Major turned Writer

Sometimes the path finds you...

Sometimes I look back on my younger years and think I was such a follower. Not an original thought in my head. Completely unable to think for myself. 

And then people ask me questions like:

"What inspired you to become a writer?" 

Which makes me pause. I don't necessarily think of myself as a writer and it feels like a foreign identifier. The truth is, I was a biology major in college. While diligently following my pre-vet, chem and bio-chem course load with nearly straight A's, I had the wild idea (against everyone's "better judgement") to take several writing classes electively. 

Looking back, it was completely foolish. I knew nothing about writing and it was certain to tank my perfect GPA. But I did it because "it will be good for me" and "I just have this feeling I'll need it some day." 

At the time I wasn't really one for thinking for myself or listening to my intuition but I think these were key moments in that shift for me. I felt completely out of my element in those classes but the teachers were all so encouraging. 

At the time, I thought they were just trying to be nice to the lone biology student, but now I realize I probably don't give myself enough credit. 

Though never tested for any "problems", I've always struggle to carry on thoughtful conversations. I'm a thinker and a processor. I often can't keep up with conversations and have far more valuable information in my head than I can manage to share verbally. 

I've found that I communicate much easier via print since it gives me time to listen, really hear the questions, process, analyze, and create a coherent thought. 

I also prefer to receive information via text because it gives me the opportunity to review it and refer back to it. 

This has led me to journaling, blogging, creating a newsletter, publishing articles, and now my very own book. 

And so, I guess that makes me a writer. :) 

(I'll work on accepting that compliment! Thank you for the question Barbara!)

As a coach and author, I enjoy thinking (and helping others think) about possibilities, simplicity, purpose, connection, layers of self, mental health, total wellness, and so on. So these are the things I tend to write about. I'm glad you are enjoying them.

Thanks for being here!

Beth
www.secondnaturehealthcoaching.com 

If anyone else has a question, please comment below or send it to: beth@secondnaturehealthcoaching.com

Have a beautiful day!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

Mirror, Mirror On the Wall

Have you ever done something you aren't proud of?

A couple weeks ago, I was running late to get my kids to school. My 10 year old daughter has become the queen of dilly-dallying (I swear just to watch my head explode) and I had forgotten I was out of gas.

I stopped into my regular gas station and (lo, and behold) guess what...they had changed the pumps. You know, to the new fancy kind with TVs.

Well, I have a hard time with change and find the idea that we need to watch TV (receive additional marketing input) while we pump gas depressing. So, I boil over from frustrated to irritated.

But I press on. No time to think about "what this world is coming to" right now.

I put in my card. Punch in my zip code. Load the nozzle into my card.

AAAAANNNNDDDDDD......

Get an error message.

Then, "Please see attendant."

GAH! I do not have time for this. If we had just kept the stupid "old" pumps (that weren't old), this would not be happening to me right now. Seriously! Can't a girl catch a break?

I try again. No luck.

SO I head inside to a line of people and a single cashier who is on the phone. (Obviously I'm not the only one having trouble. He must be on the phone with the company trying to get support).

I wait my turn. Impatient but quiet.

When it is my turn, I express my frustration and move on.

-----

Fast forward a few days. I need gas again. Not running nearly as late, but late enough. It happens again.

I won't go into detail about what I said either time because I am embarrassed. But I was irritable, unkind, and full of blame. (I did not yell or curse - not that it wasn't on my mind).

----

Fast forward another several days. I am not falling for this again. Out of spite, I venture out of my way to a different gas station.

And, guess what.

THE SAME THING HAPPENS!!!

And then I realize. I'm using the wrong zip code.

I try again with the correct zip code and everything works just fine.

And then it hits me.


Moral of the story....

There are plenty of lessons to learn from this experience (time management, vehicle maintenance, parenting, attitude adjusting, and gratitude all easily come to mind). But for me, the most important one was "Who am I? Who do I want to be? and How do I want to be perceived?"

I always pay at the pump. This gentleman has never met me before (nor anyone else in that store). This was an awful first impression. And, hopefully, not a good picture of who I really am.

Definitely not who I want to be. 

And so. Since then I've been looking harder at who I am and how I show up in the world. Not just when I'm running a meeting, marketing, coaching, or posting to social media...

But who I am when I don't think people are looking. When I don't intend to be noticed. When I'm "just" mom, or the lady in the checkout line, or the girl next to you in Jazzercise, or another car on the road....

What about you? Who do you want to be?




Thanks for being here.

Beth
www.secondnaturehealthcoaching.com

I wanna be a mall walker when I grow up...

So, the other day, I ended up in a mall.

This is highly uncharacteristic of me. Not only do I struggle with the consumerism and marketing messages but I just plain have a REALLY hard time with the noise, lights, and energy of that environment.

Anyway, I needed my car services at the dealership next door. I typically stay at the dealership and use their handy work stations to accomplish something productive - newsletters, blogging, taking an online classes, catching up on email...you get the point. But on this particular day, I was hankerin' for a trip to Target. (I'm such a rebel, I know!) But Target just happens to be next door...in the M.A.L.L.

And it felt early enough, and exciting enough, that I could handle it. SO I went.

It was bitterly cold that day and only 9am (the sun was barely up!) so I opted for the free shuttle from the dealership. He kindly dropped me off at the nearest mall entrance and I began my trek to the other end of the mall.

I quickly felt that dread and anxiety that is all too familiar to me. But I pressed on. (It was far better than hoofing it outside in the shadows and wind, after all!)

I decided to make it a personal growth exercise.

• Slow down. What are your running from?
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• Breathe. 
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• Relax the shoulders.
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• Use your senses to be present. (Be intentional about my intake, rather than overwhelmed). 

And it worked.

I soon realized the mall was closed. HA! I was one of very few people in the mall. All the stores were still locked up, most of the lights still off. It was just me and the "old folks" (in various stages of health and ability) cruisin' the halls.

But, more importantly, what I realized was that everyone else seemed so cheerful. Most were walking with a buddy - some conversing, some not. Nearly everyone gave me a smile or nod. Several even extended a greeting.

This was not the mall I was used to. And I liked it. I wanted to stay and walk. Join these lovely people in their journey. Learn from them. (They obviously knew so much more than I did. And not just about malls.) And continue to grow.

I did finish my journey to Target (and then back around the outside since the mall entrance was closed.) but then moved on with my day. But I do plan to visit again soon.

And, long term, I'd love to be one of the 70+ ladies at Jazzercise. Fit as can be. Still jumping and dancing. But if my future holds mall walking instead. I'll be ok with that too.

Thanks for being here.

Beth
www.secondnaturehealthcoaching.com

Where did you get your inspiration to become a coach?

Wow! What a great questions! Let's see...

So, I think I've always been a bit of a coach - meaning that people tend to see me as wise beyond my years when it comes to things like spirituality, purpose, and the big picture. 

I'm also a thinker and analyzer. And I love to brainstorm... 

But I guess those are things that make me a great coach, not really my inspiration for becoming one. 

I've always been a bit of an environmentalist but not really very cognizant when it came to my own health.  

When I had kids, they started struggling with allergies and eczema, respiratory problems, food allergies...I became more aware. We started changing the products we used - personal care, cleaning, laundry. 

Then I started struggling with my own health - rashes, GI distress, mental health problems. I wasn't getting answers from western medicine and started thinking outside the box. 

I began by learning about nutrition, gut health, a variety of mental and "self-care" practices, and listening to my intuition and I was able to heal my own body. 

Friends and acquaintances who had watched my journey started seeking my counsel on the things that had seen me and my kids overcome - food allergies, skin issues, mental health struggles. It was so rewarding to help people who were struggling and couldn't find answers anywhere else. 

I eventually realized this was my purpose. To help others make these big life-changing shifts, that were both good for them and our planet, in a way that felt do-able. Possible. Normal. 

I started selling Verefina products as a way to teaching about natural skin care (and tossed the other info in when I had a willing ear). But it wasn't enough. So I went back to school to become a holistic health coach and later received my certificate in mental health first aid and wellness recovery action planning.

It has been a great adventure and I look forward to sharing this mission with more people in the years to come!

Thanks for the question Barbara. 

If anyone else has a question, please comment below or send it to: beth@secondnaturehealthcoaching.com

Have a beautiful day!

Baby, it's cold outside...let me warm you up!

Baby it's cold outside...

Yes, I realize it's winter. AND I live in the mountains. But the last couple of days have been far colder than usual for where I live with single digits when I drop off for school and highs in the teens. Brrrr!

Beyond the obvious "dress in layers" type ideas, here are a few of my favorite winter weather saviors:

• Rise with the sun. I know we all love to sleep in but making the most of the daylight hours really helps. (And watching the sun rise is so therapeutic!)
• Use the excuse to make a fire. I know, it's a pain. A hassle. But it is also beautiful, smells good, warming, and relaxing.
• Drink warm water upon waking. This is actually a good idea year-round (it is more soothing to the GI tract and bio-available than cold water) but it helps warm from within. 
• Drink warm tea throughout the day. (see above).
• Light candles after dark. While they don't provide much heat, the glow is provides a soothing warmth.
• Snuggle up. What better way to warm up than to share body heat ;)
• Try warming spices like: turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, and pepper. I add cinnamon to my morning smoothies to combat the colder temps of the beverage so that I can enjoy this healthy meal year round. 
• Eat hearty meals. Think: soups, stews, whole grains, and roasted root veggies. 
• Splurge on a hot bath when you get the chance. 
• Moisturize with warm oil. Try a high quality coconut or olive oil warmed in a water bath. 

Which ones do you already enjoy? 

Which would you like to try? 

What other ideas do you have?

Thanks for sharing!

And if you liked this article and would like to receive 3 of my favorite healthy, winter go-to recipes for warming up...

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It's all about you...

Hey there, stranger!

It's been a loooong time since I've blogged because I'm still struggling to find the best use of this space. Is it: a place for unique content, another place/way to disseminate the same content I share elsewhere, a place to journal or rant, a place for research findings, a place to interact and "debate" ideas with you? 

I'm still not sure but I think I'd like for it to be a way to start a dialogue. Share ideas. Ask questions. 

So, if you have a question about physical, mental, or spiritual wellbeing, write it in the comments below. I'll check them and create new blog posts with the answers as soon as I can. I'll also be posting my own musings and findings. 

Note: as a coach, I work to help you help yourself. I don't do the work for my clients. So, questions need to be educated - meaning you must have already done some research on the topic or be looking to start a dialogue. 

Also, please remember that I am not a medical doctor, dietician, or nutritionist. Information provided is not meant to take the place of seeing a licensed health professional. 

SO! 

What are you struggling with? 

What are you confused about? 

What could you use some advice on?